


I woke up early

by gaypunkspaceunicorn



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypunkspaceunicorn/pseuds/gaypunkspaceunicorn
Summary: Day 6: Angst for the Carry On Countdown





	I woke up early

I woke up early in the morning and carefully slid out of bed. I didn’t want to disturb Baz. I dressed in the dark and slipped out the door. It was cold out, but I had to do it. So I popped up my collar and walked to the subway.

After the subway, I switched to a train, then another train. Then a bus, then another train. By now, Baz would be awake. Same with Penny. As I switched to another bus, I turned my phone off. I know they would be worrying about me, but I had to be alone.

A few hours later, I had arrived at the Wavering Woods. It had been one year since Ebb had died, and I was visiting her grave. Tears started to fall from my eyes. Walking into the woods, I was surprised at how much I remembered where to go. Her grave was deep in the woods. After twenty minutes, I still hadn’t come across it. But after half an hour of walking, where I could barely see in front of me, I found it.

It was just a small headstone, inscribed with a few words. Ebeneza Petty. A strong and powerful woman, she lived a challenging but happy life. I took the ceramic tiger I had bought for her out of my pocket and placed it in front of the headstone. 

I sank to my knees and brushed dust off the stone.   
“Hi.” I whispered. “Hi, Ebb.” I said a little louder. “I brought you a little tiger. I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit more.

“But, I’m happy now. It’s taken some getting used too. Baz and I are happy, and Penny’s happy, life is so good right now. And…” I stopped talking for a second. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. “And I’m so… so sad you’re not there. You deserve to be here.” I closed my eyes, listening to the soft noises of the forest. 

When I opened my eyes, everything was somehow even darker.   
“Goodbye, Ebb. I’ll be back soon.” I stood up, and somehow, I turned around and started walking out of the forest. It was so dark and so cold. 

I didn’t realise I was still crying, but I must have been when everyone on the train was staring at me. I glared until they stopped. My journey back home was spent in a daze. All I know is that somehow, I had my key out at our door, when it was flung open to reveal Baz looking extremely angry.

“Simon bloody Snow, where have you been?” He shouted, “Penny and I’ve been calling you all day!”   
I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. 

“Have you been crying? And you’re covered in dirt…” I wandered past him, and sat down on the couch.  
“It’s...it’s been a year.” I choked out. Immediately, his jaw dropped.

“Oh my god, Simon…” He sat down next to me and cupped my face with his hands. “I’m so sorry, we’ve lost track of time somehow.”   
“I went… I went to her grave.” By now I was sobbing, and Baz pulled me into a hug so tight I could barely breathe. 

“I’m so so sorry, I fucked up so bad.” He whispered into my hair. I closed my eyes. Baz didn’t say anything either.

“Where’s Penny?” I asked after a while.  
“She’s out. She said . . . she said she was going to buy a ceramic for Ebb.” He said, and I knew it would be okay.


End file.
